Aye, a long post on the hallowed day with nary so much as a single “Arrrgh!”
Run me through with a bleedin’ narwhal tusk— guilty as charged!
And thus, ye be conspirin’ t’ dangle me from the nearest yardarm, are ye now?
Treachery, betrayal, and doom!
I laugh at yer mis’rable ploys!
Come at me now, if prepared t’ taste me blade, and see who the real PIRATE be!