“We’re here with noted kaiju critic Esther Hayes, and the lines are open!” says the anchor.

“Yeah, what even is your job,” says the line.

“I interpret kaiju rampages through a lens that makes them relatable,” Esther says patiently. “For instance, Vulfhor’s destruction of the Wilbury neighborhood last week was an allegory for the oligarchical–”

“Twelve hundred people lived in that allegory.” The line crackles. “My great-aunt lived in that allegory.”

“I know.” Esther lets her exhaustion show, almost. “Sometimes you need a lens to make things farther away.”

Vulfhor rolls his radioactive eyes and tries to change the channel.

“Next on the agenda,” says Iolaus, “the proposed ballot measure to implement quotas on non-kaiju residents in federal housing.”

A throat clears like a collapsing building.

“I know there’s some opposition–”

The throat clears again; people take cover.

“But we have to consider placing one kaiju versus twenty-five families in a given unit and YES Vulfhor what IS it,” says Iolaus.

“I just want to avoid any hint of reverse discrimination,” sniffs the eighty-foot-tall purple lycanthrope.

“You smashed six housing projects last week!”

Vulfhor shakes his head sadly. “And here I thought we were past all that.”