“Demonesses, man,” says Trisong Detsen, Thirty-Eighth Emperor of Tibet, chewing a thumbnail. “You think you can banish them or whatever? Because I saw this guy’s goat and I am 90% positive there’s something demoness-related going on.”

“We will redirect her negative energy into spiritual awakening,” says Padmasambhava. “First, build a monastery at Samye Gompa.”

“What are you going to do there?”

Padmasambhava looks at him with sincere and complete knowledge of all the flaws of humanity.

“Extremely awesome sex rituals,” he says.

“Oh man,” says Trisong Detsen, awed.

“Also,” says Padmasambhava, “I’m going to need to borrow your wife.”