The inside of the bathroom door handle is wet, and Trilby feels his nose wrinkle in disgust as he exits. Sure, it’s clean water. In theory. But what about those who just run their hands under the tap for appearances? And what about those bacteria that laugh at triclosan–they must love swimming around in those clammy drops, just waiting for the next unsuspecting hand! Is it really such a big deal to hit the hot-air dryer button and–

Suddenly, Trilby notices Edwin looking at him. He blinks. “Er,” he says, “did I say that out loud?”

“No,” says Edwin. “What?”