“Gods be with me,” whispers Takashi to himself, and kisses the Eye of Jack Sparrow on his hand before locking belt to cable and dropping through the skylight. It’s dark in the Minoguean Sanctum, but he has the way memorized: five paces to the shrine, lit by candles, and then his careful picks in the tabernacle lock. Gold pours through his fingers.

He’s almost out when the lights flick on.

“Stop!” thunder the liturgicops through their bullhorn, as their car fishsqueals around the alley corner. “In the name of the Clooney!”

Takashi offers one last prayer to Johnny Depp, and runs.