Lichcraft is fraught under optimal conditions, which is to say without thralls like Scarjob and Gretch.

“I told you to watch the alembic so it didn’t boil over!” wails Karaaz the Flagrant, rushing to beat out a small but spirited fire in her phylactery lab. Scarjob and Gretch cringe.

“We did!” says Scarjob, who didn’t (they were playing a game with Gretch’s eyeball).

“What’s an alembic?” says Gretch hesitantly.

“TWO RETORTS CONNECTED BY A PIPETTE JESUS HOW MANY TIMES,” shouts Karaaz the Flagrant.

Then she’s late to the Future Liches of Morcroft meeting and everybody snickers at her under their cloaks.