Squirting water into your inner ear to see if it makes you vomit is a good test for whether you’re really in a coma, Tanner learns, to his bewilderment, still hiccuping with his arms resting on the bucket lip.

“But I fail to understand,” he gets out between spasms, “why such a test was even necessary.”

“Some people prefer their friends to be safe, not sorry,” says Kira. “And there was the power-of-attorney issue.”

“The,” Tanner says, “what.”

“So I could legally divest of your house and stuff. Tax reasons!”

He stares up at her.

“April Fools?” she says.