“Forgive me,” says Holofernes, mouth stuffed with cheese, “if I’m having trouble understanding your kindness here.”

“I simply admire your work,” says Judith, lashes batting.

“I know, right?” says Holofernes, washing down the cheese with a jug of wine. “(Glug glug glug.) But that’s the thing, I’ve got Bethulia under siege here!”

“I reserved a special supply,” says Judith. “Just for attacking generals with awesome names.”

“Did you know it’s Greek?”

“I even know the root words,” she purrs.

Then he falls asleep and Judith breaks the siege by cutting his fucking head off with a knife (seriously, look it up).