Granny’s got a coring knife;
She carves a pretty core.
But kids in Macoun County know
What coring knives are for.

“Taking fruit that’s on the ground,”
They say with flashlit chins,
“Is safe–but pluck it from the tree
And Granny does you in!

She quarters you and peels you raw
And masticates your eyes!
She mashes into kindersauce
Whatever isn’t pies!

Abstinence is safety, friends–
Avoid the deadly cores.
We’ll stay alive if we maintain
A diet of s’mores.”

(Granny knows that all of this
Is simply superstitious.
The only things she’s ever cored
Were bright and red, delicious.)