Seriously! This shouldn’t be that shocking! The Cabinet is composed entirely of lycotroids swathed in human flesh. So what? It’s 2012! Lycotroids have been public knowledge for years, at least on the right messageboards. They’re already among us, like Farmont there, from the Post. Isn’t that right, Farmont! Farmont’s a plant, everybody.

See that? Transparency.

Lycotroids are citizens–working, buying groceries, paying taxes–okay, not the taxes, haha. They’re fellow countrybeings, and they have the best interests of our species at heart! Or technically at liver.

That the President was born a woman, okay, there it makes sense to be startled.