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Schroeder

Typing on the store’s touch screen is agonizing, one. Letter. At. A time, and even when he’s done they’ve got nothing in stock. “Barenaked?” No. “Barelaked?” No.

“Are you ready to go?” His mom shuffles CDs.

“Yeah,” Schroeder says. “Okay.”

“Listen, Schroeder.” She looks around, hunted, then mutters too loudly. “Can you get me this? Off the Internet.”

He winces. “No, Mom.”

“Why not?”

The sheer explanation required weakens him. “You can’t get music anymore, okay? TV maybe. Anyway–” He squints at it. “Jesus, Mom, he’s younger than me.”

“What?” She looks more hunted. “He has an–an excellent voice!”

Muldoon

“Most of the newly arrived don’t remember,” says Muldoon sympathetically.

Trent looks dubious. “I want some proof.”

Muldoon hits the button, and Trent’s body slides out on a tray. His face is peaceful.

“Wow,” mumbles Trent. “Uh. Yeah, that’s… that’s me.”

“All that matters now,” says Muldoon, “is the war.”

Trent’s still slowly nodding as he signs the enlistment form. Muldoon slides the body back in, glad he didn’t check the fingernails; this was a rush job. Nobody quite knows the ratio of presumed to pronounced in the Army of the Dead, and if he can help it, nobody ever will.

Shidra

Who taught the roots to mirror the branches?

Shidra leans back and exhales. “Junk was like pissing in the pool next to this, man.”

Vyasa grins and nods. “Pass the book–”

What do all fingers seek to touch?

Tranquility ices his chest, his shoulders and neck. “Mother of fuck,” he gasps, and reads another.

How did the master lie with a question?

He gurgles and thrashes the book away. “Shit! He’s enlightening!” yells Kavi.

Vyasa’s eyes are white; his nose foams. “Grab his shoulders!” Shidra snaps, stabbing three mils of worldly desires into Vyasa’s chest and slapping the plunger home.

Pierrot

“It’s started already,” says Billie Youngblood. Pierrot believes her. His nose is considerably longer, but hers is as sharp as frost.

He kicks Azazello awake. The old thing hisses at him, but Pierrot kicks again. “Air’s turning, scapegoat,” says Pierrot. “Go quickly and we might save you some bones.”

Azazello tries to look bored, but his long pupils dilate all the same. “Wanna rabbit bones,” he sniffs.

“You might get dust.”

Azazello snarls and scuttles up the hill, launching at the crest. Billie and Pierrot watch, as always, at the way he turns dawn’s light oily: an angel with pigeon wings.

Lange

They look like poker chips, a little heavy, milled around the edges.

“They’re used,” says Lange, “to purchase changes in a subjective reality.”

“Wishes?” says Grosvenor, dubiously rolling one over her knuckles.

“Not really. They change stories, not the real world. Or not directly. Think of them as every fanfic writer’s wet dream.”

Heddis looks up. “Books? TV?”

“Or movies,” Lange grins, “music, games–maybe Aeris doesn’t die? Maybe Prospero keeps Caliban tied down. Maybe Mister Folds and his Five changed their minds, and they’re coming to LA after all.”

Grosvenor chews her lip. “What are they called?”

“Bangs,” he says.

Godmother

Calipers, protractor and level: Godmother measures the hundredth line in the endless fractal of window frost, then brings it back down. Blue .005 Micron on thin vellum–waterproof, thank goodness. This angle, this length. Good.

It’s very cold in the cabin, but then it has to be, to keep the frost alive. Stiff fingers are careless fingers, she thinks; maybe she ought to warm them?

“Do you want some hot cocoa?” she asks Jack.

Jack, still crying, whimpers through the duct tape.

“No,” she agrees, “you wouldn’t,” as she smooths the vellum over his face and picks up the tattoo gun.

Michette

In a thirty-story apartment building, the pipes never stop singing. That many faucets mean somebody’s always got one open, or a dishwasher, or a leaky toilet. The water vibrates as it moves. Sound carries a long way in water, and in cylinders.

Michette has a stethoscope to the big push line in the west half of the complex, listening. Most of it’s white noise–her ears will get used to that. Somewhere behind it is the voice she needs. Lana’s voice.

She finds herself wondering about the building: why thirty stories? Make a skyscraper or don’t, but thirty is half-assing it.

Orrin

Orrin imagines the quantum blade tickles as it passes through his throat, but really he doesn’t feel anything. His vision doubles a little, dimming quickly, and then the headsman reaches up and pulls: it’s gone.

Orrin stares at the perfect copy of his head. His facial expression is stupid.

“Thus is the sentence carried out this… ah, seventh day of August, in accordance with etcetera etcetera,” says the sherriff. “Okay, pop him.”

Orrin’s cuffs fall away; he doesn’t move. “Some… some me is dead?” he asks. “Somewhere.”

“It’s only capital punishment,” says the sherriff reassuringly. “We’re not trying to kill anybody.”

Daisy

“Do you have any ketchup?” asks Daisy politely.

“Not yet,” says Chester, “But we will–after I open a portal to the Ketchup Dimension!”

“What?”

ZAP! Chester selects a bottle of Red Gold Extra Fancy from the millions suddenly floating around them. “Anything else?” he asks.

“Well,” she says. “Maybe a pony?”

“No problem. Pony Dimension!” ZAP!

“I want one named Lightning,” says Daisy.

“They’re all named Lightning,” Chester assures her.

“Could we maybe,” says Daisy shyly, “I mean… is there a Fun Dimension?”

“Why don’t we find out,” smiles Chester, “together?”

But actually the Fun Dimension is full of Nazis!

Big World

“I just ride around town on my bike like normal?” says Big World.

“Absolutely,” smiles the company man.

“And wave to people like always. And wear the t-shirt you give me. And I get paid?”

“Every two weeks. You’ll be a… celebrity representative.” The company man chuckles. “Can you just sign here, on the endorsement? And here.”

“What’s the second one?” says Big World shrewdly.

The company man looks uncomfortable. “It’s called a waiver. It absolves the company of responsibility if you have an–”

But Big World’s already signing. He knows what that is. Imagine, a whole company seeking absolution!

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