- Reading this story will not save your life.
- It will not make you literate, intelligent, confident or cool.
- It will not reveal the right choice to make at a crucial moral crossroads.
- This story will not give you the words to say to crowds, the police or pretty girls.
- It will not give you a useful understanding of a complex subject.
- It will not give you new ideas; if anything, you now have one fewer idea to discover.
- This story is not to be used as a flotation device.
- This story, like most stories, is not useful for much at all.