A devil poofs into being on his left. “DO IT NOW,” chuckles the devil.

Another poof. “Do it twice!” says the devil on his right.

“It’s a cookie, not an ethical crisis,” says Jake. “And don’t I get an ange—”

A shoulder dragon appears, breathing tiny flames. “Who’s yelling at you?” she roars. “I’ll burn them!”

“Bird them!” says a pigeon, crowding the devil. “Bird!!! Birb?”

“Bite,” hisses a shoulder snake, and chomps affectionately. Jake yelps and drops the cookie. The bird eats it.

“My conscience is confusing,” Jake grumbles.

“Like you follow it anyway,” says the ghost in his phone.