Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
–Philo
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
–Plato
Be kind, for everyone you meet is haaang on a minute.
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
I’m pretty sure I said that.
–Mark Twain
You don’t get to say fucking everything, Clemens.
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
Yeah, the reports of you saying stuff are greatly exaggerated.
–Yogi Berra
Get it?
–Yogi Berra
That’s not even the real quote.
–Mark Twain
You guys are a fistful of assholes.
–Ian Maclaren
Actually some people you meet have it pretty easy.
–Thomas Jefferson
“This list is ridiculous,” says Epidiah. “Holy water is for vampires, we’re not setting money on fire, and ‘proton packs’ are not real.”
“Still locked at the corner,” says Lemmy, peering out the mail slot. “Look, it wears the chain it forged in life!”
“It’s a ghost bike, Lemmy,” says Epidiah with weariness beyond death. “Somebody spray-painted it white because a friend of theirs–”
“Reached out from beyond the grave, I know,” Lemmy frowns. “Like vodoun or pharaonic burial goods. Did you bless the holy water yet?”
Epidiah’s sainthood derives from the Universal Life Church, but unfortunately that’s good enough.