“What can you tell us about this panel you’ve assembled?” reads the nice reporter, off his hand.

“It’s a group of leading incompetists,” Sychko says, “who, I believe, are the only men fit to demolish this fine institution.”

“Yes, why are they all men?” pipes up somebody clever.

“Well, we’re an equal-opportunity employer, but we haven’t seen any female candidates with the lack of training and experience we demand.”

“And did you in fact say that your tenure would ‘end up driving this place into the shitcan?'”

Sychko laughs. “Please! The toilet will be only the beginning of our journey.”