The band is called Tristram Coffin for cool reasons and there are five people in it: Derrick sings and plays drums, Judah and Chareth trade lead and rhythm, Wade has a fretless bass and Katie plays keyboards. Everybody sings backup too, even Judah, who sort of shouldn’t.

People seem to like them but there’s this fog of pervasive worry, among eighty percent of Tristram Coffin, that the only reason they keep coming to shows is because of Katie, and also she’s Derrick’s sister, so the unspoken and iron rule is this: NO DATING KATIE.

Which never causes any drama! The end!