Murdock Vermilion exits adolescence better suited by name to be a wizard’s apprentice than to parking lot attendantship, or indeed any name-tagged position. She refrains from cursing her parents for this only because they are already cursed to a sufficient degree.

Yet more problematic for Murdock is the punishing lack of depth perception afforded via refusal to wear broken glasses. Parking by feel turns out to be rather a faux pas. Thus, one brisk midnight in November, she finds herself in disemploy and a black mood.

Note that Murdock Vermilion does not become a wizard’s apprentice.

Wizards are not real.