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Monthly Archives: March 2010

Desmolish

Molly and Desmond are out genderfucking when the allegory descends.

“Heads up!” Desmond shouts. “Robots!”

The robot fleet is red-eyed and jetpacked; they pour out of their mothership statement in defensive format.

“OUR SENSORS DETECT AN ABOMINATION,” they clang en masse.

Molly points to the two of them. “What, us?”

“AFFIRMATIVE.”

“This from a rampant AI with laser-hands?”

“YOUR ACTIONS HAVE SOILED THE PURITY OF THE BINARY!”

Desmond tilts her head. “Boolean gender-programming is a nasty bug.”

“THEN GENDER MUST BE DESTROYED,” howl the robots, lasers thrumming.

“No,” Molly grins, charging up their powerfist, “it must be constructed.”

Zach

“Oh Jesus oh fuck,” says Zach, stumbling through a panicky crowd. The police, hair-triggered, have pounded into the square with shields high; kids with vinegar kerchiefs are squeezing through gaps to whip masonry at them. Gas and smashed vegetables underfoot. One of the cops pulls off his mask and becomes Hidebound, looming, grinning, aiming, and then the Vulpine Phalanger hits him so hard they both tumble back into the ranks.

Zach scrambles up, takes a rock to the head, blinks away light and blood and gets up again. There. Finally.

The kid he shot makes a mess of his shirt.

Winston

Julia and Winston meet over the shop at fourteen o’clock, and the three of them swear that no matter what, they’ll–wait, I’m sorry, that’s wrong. Let me just stuff this page down the… the…

Can’t remember what this hole is called. Huh.

Anyway, both join together for a good two minutes of strong emotion and an afternoon at St. Sebastian’s Archery Range. It’s cold day in April, but exhilarating! The two retire to a shady spot under the chestnut tree, then, to speak freely and truly with each other.

Yes, Winston does love Big Brother.

Big Brother loves Winston too!

Aberdeen

“Strange happ’nins round these parts of a fortnight,” says the innkeep, leaning over the oak bar with a conspiratorial glance.

“Oh no,” says Aberdeen.

“Children afeart, animals missin’. Some say that old hermit what lives in the foothills has–”

“Look, I’m sorry, but I’m not an adventurer,” says Aberdeen, embarrassed.

The innkeep’s dialect fades. “But your sword! Your travel stains! Your mismatched traveling band!”

“We’re a theater troupe.” Aberdeen waggles the sword. “Prop. The stains are a postmodern homage to–”

“That is obviously just to throw the dark hunters off your trail,” he snaps.

“Well, yes, but mostly for tax reasons.”

Yael

“If you actually do know magic,” says Silhouine, “this would be an excellent opportunity to–”

“I’m not a magician,” sighs Yael. “I’m a spy.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Oh.”

They take a few dozen more steps in silence. The spiral is wide but the stairs around the outside narrow; the light of the candle Sanguoît threw in after them gives no sign of how deep it goes. It’s almost more useful for detecting the little currents of air that whistle from the stone at regular intervals. It’s cool and fresh.

Whoever’s buried here, Yael thinks, was serious about proper ventilation in the afterlife.

Pearl

“We only refer to them as ‘click-bricks.'”

“But it’s your trademark!” says Pearl. “Even if you’re worried about genericization, you can still say LEGmmppphh!”

“‘Bricks,'” says the foreman, sweaty hand on Pearl’s mouth. “Otherwise–” his eyes dart toward the massive, glossy enclosure dominating the factory.

“Is that a computer?”

“Only in the crudest sense. It’s a comprehensive trademark-enforcement solution. It does more than mine data. It listens. It enforces.”

“But it’s enormous,” says Pearl. “Baroque! What did you make it out of?”

The foreman stares at him.

What do you fucking think we made it out of,” he hisses.

Sara

“You’re right,” says Sara, tossing the hammer behind her. “I’m not going to hit you.”

“You could have saved us some time, dear,” says Nasser, regarding the ruins, “and me some money.”

Hogy a mellény.

István grins and leaves. Nasser frowns.

“I do speak a little Hungarian, you know,” he says, “but I fail to see what ‘vest’–”

“It’s time you knew how it feels,” she says, “to be the one manipulated.”

“We all manipulate each other, Sara,” he says, but with an unusual sobriety. “Every one of us.”

“Not every one,” says Sara.

Meanwhile, Zach shoots an eight-year-old.

Fairfax

The doctor’s mask is mouthless, beaked, its eyes covered by red goggles. It wears a broad black hat and has no skin visible under its leathers. It carries a stick.

Fairfax only sees the doctor in crowds, and usually from a distance. It (he?) isn’t a hallucination; Fairfax has asked, and other people see it, they just don’t seem to care. “SCA nerd,” they say. “Steampunk. Cosplayer.”

Fairfax isn’t sure how he knows the figure is a doctor, but he doesn’t think it’s the kind that treats people.

It’s the kind that tells everyone else when you’re going to die.

How to Draw a Map of the Territory

  1. Start at the point on the paper where your bootprint has torn the edge.
  2. Draw a straight line at 5Ï€/3 radians for exactly one second, then turn to connect the dots of an imaginary constellation (try Cassiopeia). Stop, turn, head due east.
  3. East where your mother went.
  4. Dig the pen into the paper. Hold your breath and turn south again. Your hand should be shaking: these are, after all, the fjords.
  5. Your pen will dry soon, your forearm lock. Abandon cartography, which Borges tells us is folly.
  6. Leave the map for your brother.
  7. It will take him some time to understand.

Silhouine

“We could double back–”

“Won’t he have posted guards or something?”

“If I were guarding a cave mouth in the middle of the desert…” says Yael, dubious.

“Ah,” says Silhouine.

“Water could be a problem, but–”

“I think I’m going in anyway.”

Yael looks at her with green eyes.

“What have I got in the city? Trouble and debt, fear and no prospects. I don’t know if he’s crazy, but there’s something in here. If we find it, it’s ours.”

“That may be,” says Yael.

“All right,” says Silhouine, and knocks the ancient chain off the tomb door with a rock.

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