- How to read sideways without turning one’s head
- How to manually rebind hardbacks with vegan glue
- How to make vegan glue to begin with
- Cherokee alphabetization
- Effective naturopathic antifungal, antimollusk prophylaxis (“booksalting”)
- Rigid campfire control
- Really, really rigid campfire control
- Mineral-based shelf-rebalancing
- Firsthand exegesis of Thoreau
- Flashlight-free nocturnal weird noise investigation
- Mass sciuricide
- Proper disposal/burial of the results of mass sciuricide
- Midstack lupine evasion techniques (climbing)
- Midstack ursine evasion techniques (not climbing)
- The startling reason why mountain lions prefer to sniff trade paperbacks published before 1983
- But I’m not telling you what it is until somebody gives me a fricking job