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Monthly Archives: March 2009

Pot School

“I’m sad we didn’t get admitted,” says Seth Rogen Character. “If only we could start our own college.”

“But all we know about is pot!” moans McLovin Guy.

They pause, for pot hits. Then:

“I know!”

They solicit marijuana-advocacy funding and get accreditation from a Canadian board; they build greenhouses and study soil acidity. They research, lobby and present their findings. The school makes a little bit of difference in the world.

But there’s a twist! It was a pot dream all along.

“We’re so high right now,” giggles Jonah Hill Character.

Pot is so good at getting you high!

Brian Dennehy

Brian Dennehy is preparing to die for your sins.

“I’ve had six other hostage negotiators in here,” he’ll say, muzzle trembling at his temple, BDRI scrawled on his forehead in blood. “You’re not going down like they did. Not this time.”

Remind him that your background is in carpentry.

Brian Dennehy will already be wrapping your fingers around the grip. “Appropriate,” he’ll say. “Carry my beam for me, little Cyrenian?”

Tell him you don’t remember the story going quite this way.

“You will this time,” he’ll say, your finger between his and the trigger. “You’ll pay attention. Attention must be paid.”

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