“Will you offer us fealty, Spartan?” grins the Persian emissary.

“‘Fraid not,” drawls Leonidas. “Those Athenian homos already said no, right? We do have a reputation.”

They throw the emissary in a well.

“The Athenian well was way deeper,” he calls up.

Leonidas frowns. “Oh. Okay, we’ll… look around for one. Somebody haul them up?”

“The Athenians actually wanted to resolve everything by dance-off!”

“We could do that,” says Leonidas. His generals mumble protests. “Dudes! We’re not going to be outdone by homos!” he shouts.

Leonidas’s boyfriend whispers in his ear.

“Oh,” says the king. “Th-that’s what homo means?”