Candace buys some peopleware and configures it to keep the children amused. She comes back from Rotary to find it dented in the corner, nine-year-old Uriah standing over it.

“You have to kick it sometimes,” Uriah informs her, “or it locks up.”

“No mas!” sobs the peopleware, trying to shield itself.

Candace gets a Rottweiler, but the peopleware is totally incompatible. She tries hacking it and manages to expose an interface, but she leaves it open for one minute and the Rottie’s in neck-deep. Then Uriah finds it. He tries his favorite reboot.

The childware fares much better.