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Monthly Archives: July 2006

Barlowe

Barlowe has, of course, been dead before: born blue and tiny, he took his first breath thirty seconds late, and it stuck. Apnea. Life is a cat, he learned, ready to sneak away on any given night. He learned to be ready, to snatch it back.

He’s got the cat’s tail now, but the cat’s left it behind and taken his tongue. Barlowe breathes deep and gets no oxygen: instead he gets rich, deep smells, more information than he ever had from color vision. One of the smells is bright with fear. He starts to follow it, and he’s not alone.

South

He stays up very late watching her pack. She doesn’t ask for help; he doesn’t offer. She put one of her records on the turntable but never turned it over after the last song, so:

“Skip and hiss,” she says, leaning on her dad’s biggest suitcase.

“I want to play guitar for you,” he says.

“Too bad it’s my guitar,” she smiles, “and I packed it, and you can’t play anyway.”

“This one song,” he says.

“I know which one. But no.”

South doesn’t say anything.

She shakes her head. “We’ve spent ten weeks not being naked, South. Why start now?”

They Shall Breathe Ashes

They Shall Breathe Ashes, the famous assassin, and her assistant Shelby are on a rooftop. They and Shelby have neither guns nor toupees.

“What did you dust on his toupee, Shelby?” asks They.

“Powdered sugar,” says Shelby, “and permanganate of potash.”

“Nonpoisonous on contact,” gloats their opponent. “Should have done your homework, girls!” He waves his gun, and they walk obligingly toward the edge.

“Storm’s coming,” observes They.

“I promise you’ll miss the worst of it,” he scoffs. “Make like lemmings.”

“That’s a myth,” says Shelby.

“No, lemmings are real,” he says, as the first drop of rain hits his head.

Azalea

“It doesn’t have to be personal correspondence,” says the Great Zaganza, Philatelogist, “you just want a general forecast, yes?”

“Yes,” says Azalea, who is going to war.

“Then junk mail will do,” says Zaganza. He sifts it out of her bag, then cuts out its corners: they scrape up the self-adhesives with razors and soak out the lick-and-sticks. Soon they’re poring over nine stamps, arranged by price, blurred by postmark.

“You’re going to get a lot more junk mail,” says Zaganza at last.

“That’s good!” says Azalea, swelling.

“But that doesn’t,” frowns Zaganza, “really change when you die.”

Apricorn

“The mundanes have always feared and despised our fellows,” explains Apricorn the kleptomancer. “Even those who had, by dint of literally weeks of labor, become wealthy and upstanding citizens–”

“By dint of kleptomancy, you mean,” says Guro.

“Which takes labor,” Apricorn insists. “The point being that we built–”

“By dint of–”

“–New Katachrol to be a like-minded place, a safe haven, a refuge. Unfortunately, certain building projects that have gone over budget, and–”

“You’re applying for the grant?” Guro blinks. “Can’t you just, er, obtain the prize?”

“Oh, I did,” says Apricorn, “but it appears to have gone missing somehow.”

The Summersmith

She takes them out of the handkerchief one at a time, careful not to touch the edges: three shattered seconds, like puzzles that cut. Her left eye says they’re missing a few shards but fixable. Her right, through the loupe, says they’re ugly bad dark times: betrayal and sick fear, things that were broken for a reason.

The Summersmith looks across the counter at her patron, thirteen, too young to deserve these in his life. “Do you want them fixed,” she says, “or fixed?

“Truth is beauty,” he says sadly, and the loupe shows her the galloping pulse in his neck.

Chicago

EXERCA ANIMOS ET MANUS PAREBUNT
Teach Their Minds, And Their Hands Will Follow

is the motto of B. M. Gallows High, and Chicago’s seen it in the lobby every day for two years now. She guessed that the translation was a bit off after three weeks of badly-taught Latin; here, underground, a dingy sign confirms it:

EXERCA ANIMOS ET MANUS PAREBUNT
Tame Their Souls, And Their Hands Will Obey

Chicago’s lost her cynicism, her buzz, her weapon and her shield. It’s cold. She’s kind of sick. She never thought, until now, that her own methods were so close to theirs.

Bezel

Fire Escape from Death Mountain!

“I just didn’t expect it to be a fire escape exactly,” mutters Bezel. “More an escape from a fire. Like on snowboards.”

“I can’t snowboard.” Antony follows down the rusty metal stairs. A few people are using the fire escape as a makeshift balcony, grilling out, watering window boxes.

“Also, the mountain is misnamed,” Bezel says.

“You think so?” inhales an aging woman in her bathrobe, outside on a smoke break.

“Yes,” says Bezel. “Where’s the death?”

The old lady points a shaking cigarette at him. “These things,” she says hollowly, “are going to kill me.”

Clyde

Clyde and Gerno rough the basics of the contract nude in the sauna. They argue options clauses through the hot baths, then international release in the cold pool. Oiled up and scraped down, they grit their teeth and talk bonuses; six men beat them with golf clubs until they agree on sheet music rights. They swap gigs for endorsements via electroshock screams. They stumble from the gauntlet spa bleeding, clinging together, and they are bonded men: shared survivors whose friendship no record exec can break.

Or anyway that’s how it should be, thinks Clyde, signing some clause he can barely read.

Cater

Cater sticks a Q-Tip in too far and some of her brains fall out. One piece goes under the couch with the Fritos. The cat eats another and learns to program the VCR. A third goes into the vacuum cleaner, and takes with it her daughter’s name.

They take her to the doctor after that one. “Plaques,” he says, and “probably,” “good” and “early” and “years left.” While they’re frowning Cater leans over from the papered table and borrows a few brains from the doctor.

“And it’s genetic,” says her wrung-out daughter, “Alzheimer’s?”

“Whose?” smiles the doctor, nodding along.

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