I realized this morning that I’m currently working on three separate “Website Makeovers” and there’s a likelihood that we’ll get at least one more. And I’m not even counting the redesign of our own site, which is long overdue. Hey, maybe I can trademark that phrase— “Website Makeover.” Everybody in the world already has a Website, so we must be entering the Website Makeover™ era! Now Hollywood will have to deal with me when they plan the new TV series— “Extreme Website Makeovers!” Want to redo a Website? Go right ahead, it’s the age of the Website Makeover™ but you’d better not call it that unless you have my permission. And while we’re at it, I think that nobody should be able to call themselves a Webmaster unless they get an advanced degree by doing an Interweb Masters Thesis like Brendan! And Brendan will get his trademark— Interweb Master™ and we’ll put the fear of God into all lowly Web designers and so-called Webmasters. We’ll team up and biff ’em on the head and have costumes and everything (but no capes). Yah-Haaa!
Beware the Dynamic Duo
March 13th, 2005Various & Sundry, part ten
March 12th, 2005— We had no business doing it, but we purchased a DVD recorder for our TV/cable configuration at home. Dana’s testing it out today. My question is this: If I’m supposed to transfer my entire collection of Mission: Impossible from VHS to DVD in order to save space, does that mean I get to watch all of it during the dubbing?
— Last night Dana and I made pizza, opened a bottle of Australian Merlot (Black Swan), and celebrated 27 years since our first date. Positioned precisely six months across the calendar from our wedding anniversary, this special observation enables us to have two celebrations each year that honor our enduring partnership in all things.
— After hearing a remark by Charles Murray that the movie Groundhog Day is an “Aristotlelian moral fable” of profound significance that will stand the test of time as a great work of art, Dana and I watched it again and enjoyed it enormously. Yes, I’m aware that among some people, Murray (no relation to Bill) has a negative reputation (unfair, in my opinion), but how can a guy who lists P.J. O’Rourke and James Clavell among his favorites be all bad?
For all those forunate enough to read this
March 11th, 2005I can never explain exactly how these odd exercises get started, but it germinated while Dana and I were watching C-SPAN during breakfast. It took root in the shower and before long I was compelled to complete my list.
— — —
THE 30 MOST INFLUENTIAL MEDIA INNOVATORS OF MY LIFETIME
Edward R. Murrow, Ted Turner, Brian Lamb, Rush Limbaugh, Rupert Murdoch
Ronald Reagan, Don Hewitt, Steve Allen, Ben Bradlee, Matt Drudge
Oprah Winfrey, Roone Arledge, Jack Anderson, Phil Donahue, Johnny Carson
Woodward/Bernstein, Garrison Keillor, Huntley/Brinkley, Lorne Michaels, Lucille Ball/Desi Arnez
Tom Wolfe, Barbara Walters, Walter Chronkite, Al Neuharth, MacNeil/Lehrer
Mike Royko, Jeff McNelly, Bob Edwards, Charles Schultz, Norman Lear
— — —
For reasons I can’t explain to myself, I’ve left out the world of cinema, music, theater, and pure entertainment (the full spectrum of mass media). There seemed a need to have an overall public affairs orientation to it. Each figure meets the requirement of both influence and innovation, although some are weighted more to one than the other. Yes, it gets shakier and more subjective as I move down the list, and I’d be interested in the opinion of others. It wouldn’t be that hard to expand it to 50 names, to find room for many others worthy of consideration, such as: Jacques Cousteau, Ken Burns, Jann Wenner, Clay Felker, Charles Kuralt, Jim Henson, Paul Conrad, Malcolm Forbes, Daniel Shore, and Roger Mudd, etc., etc.
What do you think? Did I neglect the obvious? Who would you strike? Who would you add?
If you like this kind of history-of-mass-media material you’ll like the cybernewseum.
Damn. Some people probably get paid for thinking up stuff like this.
! ! !
Various & Sundry, part nine
March 10th, 2005— There’s nothing like a good ol’ ranting, stream-of-consciousness letter to the editor. I can’t even manage to achieve that in my own private journal or semi-private blog, and yet there will always be these bold, opinionated souls who’ll fire both barrels in the local newspaper for full public display.
— Why do some things have to get so complicated? I’m starting to become very sensitive to the chlorine at the Wellness Center pool, just when I’ve gotten into a beneficial groove with my swimming. This morning I did 80 lengths in a little over an hour and never felt so strong in the water, physically or aerobic-wise. We’ve decided to switch our membership to the new fitness club at Centre, partly to find a lower chlorine level, and that should take effect next month. Meanwhile, I had someone tell me that their natatorium is having trouble with its chlorine regulator.
— We finally got the pro bono brochure for the Band Festival out the door for printing. It’s alarming how long some of these freebie jobs take. Wouldn’t you think we’d know how much time something like this would require when we volunteer our services to the community? Oh well, it should be a nice piece.
One Earth Tour comes to Danville
March 9th, 2005The rhythmic perfection and exuberant athleticism of the KODO performance at Centre last night was powerful, mesmerizing, and deeply satisfying. I knew the word “Kodo” from my book by Kensho Furuya (Kodo: Ancient Ways— Lessons in the Spiritual Life of the Warrior/Martial Artist), but I wasn’t sure whether it literally meant “Ancient Ways.” The KODO artists boldly but reverently exalt “Taiko,” the traditional Japanese drum, which is the ancient symbol of rural Japan. Their musical interpretations connect at a fundamental human level that must be experienced to fully appreciate.
Trivia: What television theme features the Taiko? Answer.
Like something out of an old Bela Lugosi movie
March 8th, 2005Today’s Anacrusis story makes me think of Kethan Mortice. I guess you have to be a “Benedict’s 9er” to know what I mean.
At the same time, Kristi sends me the salvaged interactive stories, including the one that I thought had been lost! She’s thinking about starting up a new gathering spot to resurrect the activity. I know I’m not that good a writer, but is that any reason I shouldn’t compose fiction? Like I shouldn’t shoot baskets because I’ll never dunk the ball, or give up entering footraces because I’ll never break a seven-minute-mile pace, or (perhaps more to the point) refrain from playing my recorder because I’ll never be able to play a Telemann sonata?
It’s the new splendid lady come to call
March 7th, 2005Had a good phone conversation last night with Foot, my old chum from Tipp City. What’s happening with him is stark proof that good things can come out of nowhere to transform your life.
The account of Don Andrés Serrano
March 6th, 2005I’m reading what seems to me to be a jewel of a book by the poet and writing scholar Robert Graves. It’s called “The Islands of Unwisdom,” a novel of Spanish colonization in the South Pacific that takes place roughly in the same time period as Clavel’s “Shogun.” I don’t know very much about Graves other than he was a contemporary at Oxford of Tolkien and Lewis, but apparently had a less than admirable private life. He supposedly dismissed his historical novels as mere thrillers, but I find “Islands” quite captivating. I have no appetite for sentimentality in historical fiction, prefer it to be based on actual characters who lived, and enjoy insights into the clash of cultures, especially East and West. This work fits nicely into that niche, and I may also investigate his “Count Belisarius.”
Dedicated to the reality of the good life
March 5th, 2005I’ve spent a surprising amount of my day updating our family Website, “Clandestiny.” Joan wrote a wonderful poem, a tribute to Mombo for her 80th birthday celebration, so I put that on there. She’s so much more talented than she gives herself credit for. Today would have been Joe’s 57th birthday, so we talked briefly on the phone. We’d already agreed that it was appropriate to change the home page, even though it’s hard to remove Joe’s picture. I hesitate to put a link to the site. It’s really a private family newsletter. Those who are interested know how to get there. I wrote, “How superb a world of human feeling our Divine Source has crafted for us, that we can travel from such sorrow to such joy in so short a time, now that our Grammo has celebrated her milestone of years, which enables us to celebrate a milestone of family love.” I truly mean that. With each family event, happy or sad, our connection to each other deepens, while at the same time we draw apart as households. I suppose it’s just the natural course of things, even within close families. I wrote an open letter to the Clan last fall, and only one person replied, but already I think that much has improved for the better, despite our devastating loss. It should work that way, I guess. It has to.
They see a plate of them and weep
March 4th, 2005Spent three hours today in front of a hot griddle at Kentucky School for the Deaf making pancakes for the Danville Rotary Club. Once a year I adopt my little-known identity as the greatest fried-foods artist since Neolithic times. Usually this annual fundraising event is scheduled around the middle of February, which enables me to show off by making heart-shaped pancakes. This year the timing was off, but did that stop me?
Modesty eludes me when it comes to my Rotary pancakes. I suppose they can only be described as perfect. Just ask any of my numerous pupils (the community’s best and brightest). That they hold me in total, ring-kissing awe on this particular day allows them to act like they don’t know me the rest of the year.
As far as Dana is concerned, it just makes me smell like grease.
Ah, the sorrow of genius…
I told you I’m dangerous, Jerry
March 3rd, 2005A great page for fellow students of “Seinfeld.” Pathetic, aren’t we?
Smile when you say that
March 2nd, 2005I like teeth. Teeth are good. Everybody needs teeth.
That’s right. A wake-up-and-smell-the-mouthwash moment at the dentist this morning. Flashing back to what Brendan said last year about his Dad—
05.24.2004 — 22:47 hrs (This is pretty gross.)
I like floss. Floss is good. Everybody needs floss.
Various & Sundry, part eight
March 1st, 2005— Month of February workout totals: Swim-5; Bike-5; Run-4; Lift-6.
— It’s snowy, windy, and the temperature is dropping. The forecast for the next few days is cold and wintery. In my book this will classify as “March comes in like a lion,” which is good news, because this natural equation has never been proven wrong for me, so long as I gauge the general trend rather than make the call based solely on the initial weather of March 1st. Ah yes, the season for cycling will start early, and March will “go out like a lamb.”
— Good heavens, I’m discussing the weather! This must surely qualify as a major “blogger’s blunder” of some sort. I probably can’t even refer to myself as a blogger if this is the kind of nonsense to which I fall prey.
— Well, it could be worse. I could be discussing the lead story on Action News 36: Inside “Wife Swap.”
— Help me here, I’m stuck in quicksand!
We need men
February 28th, 2005Don’t go to
this Website unless you like to play with men.
Houston, we have a countdown
February 27th, 2005The realization hit only yesterday. There are four graduations in the Clan later this spring! Cosmosaics? Cosmoramas? More Grandy-bo variations? Something new? I’d better plan ahead this time…
Use the stuff, Petey
February 26th, 2005Seth showed his trailer to the Clan today, and then we made plans to collaborate on the long overdue, final cut of “Pirate Revenge.” It should be fun. I also found the lost narration notes that Brendan and I made years ago. It looks like the pieces are coming together at last, and then the emphasis will shift to producing the concluding episode of the generational quatrain, which Alyx and Seth are already planning to script.
Down Under vs Up Over
February 25th, 2005Down Under—
AUSTRALIA will more than double its military commitment in Iraq, deploying a further 450 troops to protect Japanese engineers, as the country’s interim Government struggles to contain a widespread insurgency… Warning that Iraq was at a “tilting point”, Prime Minister John Howard revealed cabinet had approved the plan for more troops only after personal requests from Japanese leader Junichiro Koizumi and Britain’s Tony Blair… A grim-faced Mr. Howard admitted the decision would be unpopular and could lead to the first Australian fatalities in Iraq.
Courageous and strong, these are men of vision. History will judge them as significant and large.
Up Over—
Foreign Minister Pierre Pettigrew said Thursday that CANADA will opt out of the contentious U.S. missile defense scheme… Polls indicate that most Canadians are opposed to the scheme. Many believe that the umbrella, when fully implemented, could lead to an international arms race. Prime Minister Paul Martin, who leads a tenuous minority government, has said that Ottawa would not support what he called the “weaponization of space.”
Foolish and weak, these are men in denial. History will note them as peripheral and small.
Gee Dubya vs Judo Vlad
February 24th, 2005The media overhyped the president’s “summit” today in Bratislava. If there really was some sort of significant impasse between the two leaders, the meeting would have never taken place. More important was the Bush speech in the open air before the Slovak people. Most of us in the States have no appreciation of how closely the nations which threw off Communism listen to the words of a visiting American President (or how closely the Russians do, as well). For me, focusing on the event causes a reflection on my Slovak ancestry. I must often remind myself that my father was half Slovak, and I haven’t even begun to figure out the implications of this genetic heritage.
(ps— Happy Birthday, Grammo!)
Please leave it to the professionals
February 23rd, 2005I burned out on “reality TV” back when it was invented by Allen Funt, who hid a camera and caught people “in the act of being themselves.” I guess there was a certain authenticity to the captured behaviors, but weren’t the scenarios contrived to produce humor in the first place? Dana observed tonight that the pervasive garbage produced today to create an illusion of authenticity isn’t “reality” at all, but rather people in the vicinity of not-so-hidden cameras “trying to act the way they think they should act, when they can’t act.”
Various & Sundry, part seven
February 22nd, 2005— Surprising as it might seem, I never read H.S. Thompson. Maybe it was because I had a back-stabbing co-worker in the 70s who carried on a lot about how great a writer Thompson was. Either that or I just couldn’t get past all the Ralph Steadman, which has been a bit of a mystery, since Steadman’s work was mildly influential for me at a certain point in my development as an illustrator (even though I found something fundamentally revolting about his style).
— Brendan’s new Idiotcam archive is positively super-dooper! Now I have only two major goals left in my life: building a home in the Knobs and making it into the exalted Plastic Mullet Series.
— Something about Mombo’s tribute has really sparked some childhood memories. For some reason I got to thinking about one of the most brattish (perhaps the most brattish) thing I ever did as a child. I was pretty young, so my recollection is rather hazy. I don’t think it was my birthday, so it must have taken place at Christmas. I do remember that I’d been agitating for the only toy I desperately wanted—a firetruck. My parents must have been anticipating the delight that would certainly result from their big surprise. Or maybe it was my Uncle Don who was behind it.
There it was! A bright red steel pedal-car-style fire engine complete with little wood ladders and a silver bell!
I threw a fit. Weeping dramatically, I let it be known that I was totally disappointed. How could somebody have gotten it so utterly wrong? That’s not what I wanted. What I wanted was a little firetruck that I could take out to the sand pile and play with! It was a bitter tragedy. No, it was the end of the world!
I don’t know how much longer it was before the replacement arrived, or what mixed emotions my tantrum must have triggered, but the Tonka fire engine eventually appeared, and it was a beauty. It even had a red hydrant that connected to the garden hose to supply a realistic fire-fighting stream. I have no recall as to what my reaction was. I hope I was appropriately grateful, but I may have just accepted it as merely just and overdue.
Both toys are long gone. Did the pedal car end up at the home of a cousin? Whatever became of the little fire engine? Either toy would be a valuable collector’s item today…
Gallant fact vs believable fiction
February 21st, 2005After the trip to Berea for Mombo’s celebration, Marty came home with us in preparation for his all-night “lock-down” at The Stadium. He had a good time, connecting with two of his old chums from Bate, but was ready to promptly crash upon his return this morning. When he woke up in the afternoon we talked about Josh for a while, got on the subject of Iwo Jima, which was fought exactly 60 years ago, and discussed how the new movie currently in production might be structured. We ended up at a site devoted to medal recipients from the battle, and after reading a few descriptions, both of us concluded that if some of these true-life sacrificial exploits were brought to the big screen, many people would think they were too unrealistic to have actually occurred. Case in point: Douglas Thomas Jacobson, USMC (born the same year as Mombo).
There once was a Mombo
February 20th, 2005My Mom celebrated quite a milestone today, even though her actual 80th birthday isn’t until Thursday. Nineteen of us were there at the Boone Tavern and Hotel, including Bob and Carol, who came from Hot Springs after driving from California. The food and atmosphere were perfect, once we all got inside out of the wind and rain. It was comfortable, yet uncommon enough to make it a very special event. It almost felt like we had the huge historic place to ourselves, and we got to have a portrait taken at the staircase. Joan wrote and read a heartwarming, poetic tribute, and Bob got us started on a nostalgic look at the contrasting decades of Mombo’s life. He repeated the old saying that “Dixon Men” don’t usually amount to much, but they’ve always known how to choose strong, amazing women. And so my mother upholds a long line of matriarchs, adding her unique creativity, optimism, and faith to the family tradition. We love you, Grammo!