And I think to myself

July 23rd, 2005

It’s my month to care for our family cemetery, so I spent most of the day doing my duty on the quiet hillside. I’ve come to notice that when I’m working there, I actually take the time to absorb the natural beauty of our secluded valley, especially on days like today, with the cerulean hue of an N.C. Wyeth sky, and the wooded knobs in their full summer contours. It was hot and humid, but I didn’t mind. I’d gotten any discomfort out of my system early in the day during a 10k run on Bluegrass Pike (after Buck showed off his new MINI Cooper topless—super-swank!).

Lust for power, Kentucky style

July 22nd, 2005

The Attorney General of my state is revealing himself as just another clever scoundrel, in keeping with the worst traditions of Kentucky politics. Will the Democrats of this Commonwealth transcend partisanship long enough to rebuke his self-serving manipulation of the legal process? I refuse to believe that my friend Basil left a distinguished (and comfortable) retirement in Danville so he could idiotically commit misdemeanors in Frankfort on behalf of the Governor. Yes, it’s a travesty, indeed… inflicting political damage through multiple indictments as if it’s a matter of scoring hit points in a role-playing game. If there’s actual evidence of wrongdoing, let the proper authority look into it—one that’s free from such a blatant conflict of interest.

When the way things oughta be ain’t

July 21st, 2005

Dana’s been putting in too much overtime trying to sidetrack any effort to discharge Bruce to an inappropriate facility while his medical situation remains tenuous. Thankfully, Jerome has taken time to advise Pam, plus valuable counsel is coming in from friends who know their way around the health care system.

Two examples—

“I know that you don’t need any more pressure at this time but that is the reality. Don’t hesitate to call the case manager and tell her/him that they need to make something happen. Also, call the chief of nephrology and any other medical team caring for Bruce, as well as the hospital administrator. If you’re not getting the satisfaction that you need then you keep going up the ladder. You’ll eventually rattle the right person.”

“…there is absolutely no excuse for the quality of care to be sacrificed. Problem is, physicians are pressured by administrators to rapidly get costly patients out of the hospital. You will never get an admission by anyone that this actually happens. If you aren’t getting the response you need I suggest making an appointment with the hospital administrator and in as nice as manner as possible serve notice that you are unwilling to tolerate poor quality in the name of a dollar. I can’t tell you the number of times I have seen patients drop through the cracks after an acute battle. Doctors loose interest or perhaps they just move on to the next big challenge. Feeding the ego can be such a dangerous thing….especially in medicine.”

Lad, you can handle only a taste

July 20th, 2005

Tonight I drafted shamelessly off anybody whose wheel I could suck behind, but they still made me suffer on our 34-miler to Forkland and back. Multiple “knobs” make for tough cycling, but it’s got to be a mere fraction of a percent difficulty compared to racing in the Alps or Pyrénées.

I’ll gladly leave such feats to the gods…

The proper perspective

July 19th, 2005

Yes, Tiger is back on top, but the King of Awesome never fell from supremacy in the first place.

Why all this ink about whether or not the impossible Nicklaus feat can be matched or bested? Tiger is young. Lance was actually doing the impossible, past the recognized prime of cyclists, as all those keyboards were tippity-tapping away!

The summer of 2005 will shine with blinding intensity in the history of sport not because Woods won a few more majors or because the beloved Golden Bear walked proudly off the stage, but because Armstrong did the inconceivable and retired at the pinnacle of athletic achievement. This past weekend proved it, and the sports editors are fools if they don’t begin to take notice and more adequately document a true legend in formation, as they did when Jack was untouchable, and as they surely will do when the full potential of Tiger’s career is manifest.

Herding cats

July 18th, 2005

We decided to spend the night, staying over long enough to monitor the situation with Bruce, to be sure he’s stable before we head in the direction of home. The surgical resident seems relatively free of tunnel vision and has agreed to attempt setting up a family conference with the various practitioners involved. We’ll see if that might happen any time soon. Since Bruce’s pancreas is still leaking, I’m mystified as to why that impressive pancreatic specialist who helped save his life in April is no longer a part of the team. Perhaps I shouldn’t be. The miserable economics of “safety-net medicine” or petty turfism would explain it.

Circling the wagons

July 17th, 2005

Something hasn’t felt right about the situation with Bruce, especially after having to avert his precipitous transfer to an inferior convalescent facility. When the harsh economics of modern health care kick in, sanity seems to drain away rapidly. After an enlightening (and fortuitous) conversation with Audrey, it’s my firm opinion that he needs hospital-based rehabilitation with aggressive physical therapy, while preserving high-level continuity of care. My viewpoint hardened last night when his potassium level spiked dangerously and the nephrologist ordered emergency dialysis, personally wheeling his bed out of the room. Dana has been persistent in her role as protector, but I see signs of a deep weariness. I must say that Bruce’s wife Pam has come through admirably as a forceful advocate of common sense over the past few days. Way to go! Let’s get some mileage out of that personality, Toots…

Saturday sojourn

July 16th, 2005

Headed north to hit the Seitz Family Reunion, and then west to Indy for a visit with Bruce.

I switched to a digital camera this year to take the portrait. It was tricky, but the group was surprisingly cooperative and full of good cheer. At least I had a real-time verification, which reduced the stress of whether I got a decent shot. Seth gave me a VHS tape of his editing work. I didn’t have time to talk to Brendan; wanted to discuss Urban Dead. James and I got a kick out of Mark’s hundred-foot row of zucchini. What was the poor devil thinking!?

(ps — Did anyone else get chiggers?)

Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better

July 15th, 2005

Thought a lot about Uncle Clarence today, so I sent him one of my cards. Knowing how much I’ll miss Aunt Alma, I can’t begin to appreciate his sorrow. They were married for almost 73 years!

Also spent some time on the Web trying to find out more about my eye condition. Nothing compares to medical science when it comes to creating barriers to basic understanding. Diplopia— Why not just say “double vision?” Asthenopia— Why not call it “eyestrain?” Nothing doing.

So I have to get used to decrypting phrases like “cyclovertical heterophoria” and “dissociated strabismus complex.”

HELP! I need Maria’s brain!

Dateline London

July 14th, 2005

Word comes from Brendan that his traveling mom—my sister Joan—saw Brian Dennehy perform on stage.

NO FAIR!

So long, my friend

July 13th, 2005

Mack was buried in a family cemetery on his farm, as some day I will be at our farm (near the grave of my namesake). Mack was a generous man… no, more than that—magnanimous. The same can be said about my father. They also had in common a low-key personality that was somehow magnetic. They were both complex, multi-talented individuals with deep connections to the natural world. Whatever they chose to do, they did well—and they attempted many wide-ranging things. They also had a profound spiritual side to their character that was instructive by example, never overbearing. Until today, I hadn’t thought about how Mack and Dadbo were so much alike. Indispensable to their families, the void they leave can never be filled. It can only be honored. Mack was not a father figure to me, but perhaps a mentor, although I thought of him only as a friend, which, I believe, is all he would’ve wanted. And even though he defied the foe until the end—with his expansive optimism, quiet competitiveness, and good cheer—I think he knew that everyone in his world was watching how he countered death’s grasp, as we all must when our time comes, and continued to share his graceful spirit until called to run the unknown trail ahead of us.

A new concern

July 12th, 2005

Dana and I made a Lexington run to do routine errands and get our eyes examined. The eye condition that I’ve had for some time was diagnosed as hyperphoria.

Jeanne, it’s time to cut me off again

July 11th, 2005

Here we go; these painful losses seem to come in clusters.

First my Aunt Alma, then my good friend Mack, and now my pal Bob D, one of the outstanding Bobs in my life.

Don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing

July 10th, 2005

For the first time in a while, I felt like myself on a bike, riding through the stillness after daybreak—one of those quiet mornings when a triggered canine yelp ripples outward into the landscape as other dogs pick up the bark.

When I arrived at his cabin studio, I learned that my friend Mack had died yesterday.

I don’t know, Johnny, I really don’t know

July 9th, 2005

Seth and I put in a rigorous session with Lady Casablanca and learned a few hard lessons in our first team effort to produce a final cut of “Pirate Revenge.” When we were no longer laughing at our funniest scenes, we knew it was time to call it a night.

Weird, wild stuff

July 8th, 2005

Just for the heck of it, I googled for the word “Bruce.” Although he didn’t come up on the search, Bruce will get a kick out of the fact that Bruce Campbell topped Willis with the first listing, and that Bruce Lee was next, beating out Springsteen. Bruce Cockburn made page two. Lenny Bruce didn’t show up until page ten, and no Robert the Bruce until page 14. I didn’t see Jenner until 52 or Boxleitner until 61.

When I google for “Bruce” and “Uncle John,” we come up as the fourth item. When I add “Indianapolis,” we’re number one.

Even Uncle Bob, who has forgotten more about computer science than many programmers will ever learn, is amazed at Google’s penetration. When he googled for his home base, “Broadwing Farm,” it came up first, with the Dixon Design page that exhibits our work for the farm’s “Red Crow Hot Sauce” a few listings down.

I wonder how long it will take for this particular page to be catalogued within their system?

(ps — Bon Voyage to Uncle Bob, Aunt Carol, and Joan. Be sealed in angel armor…)

Various & Sundry, part twenty-one

July 7th, 2005

— If we need another grim reminder that the world is at war, this story makes it clear that we’re all potentially in harm’s way—especially when we leave the homeland—as Joan, Aunt Carol, and Uncle Bob are planning to do this weekend. Manolo, get out your Blessing Engine. Meanwhile, the rest of us will pray—hard.

— Speaking of Bobs, I’ve known a few in my life. A Bob is never wishy-washy, but invariably an exceptional guy (occasionally you’ll encounter one who is distinctly uncool), and always makes an impression. This Bob is one of my favorites, and so I’ll do my part to extend his 15 minutes of fame.

— At Aunt Alma’s funeral I talked to cousin Don (accomplished musician and former CEO of Rolodex), and, without any prompting from me, he declared Centre professor Vince DiMartino as the greatest living Jazz trumpet virtuoso. Hmm… At the Brass Band Festival, Vince gave the honor to his friend Allen Vizzutti. Anyway, here’s a montage I made from shots I took during the Festival, so you can see the world’s finest trumpet player in action, whichever one he is!

V & S

Josh—be safe and secure until you come home

July 6th, 2005

The latest news is that my nephew has lost another fellow Guardsman. There is no doubt that the mission of the 623rd in Iraq is extremely dangerous. Nothing yet about whether Josh was assigned to the convoy that day.

Talisman, talisman, grace my hand

July 5th, 2005

After a visit with Bruce, we headed northeast to Celina, Ohio, watching fireworks erupt 360 degrees into the night sky on our way out of greater Indianapolis. This morning we gathered with family in St. Henry for the funeral of Aunt Alma. Mombo gave a reading and was determined to get through it—for her sister—and she did. We viewed the extraordinary Munich-style stained glass windows at St. Bernard’s in Burkettsville and then made the short trip to Maria Stein to pray at the Shrine of the Holy Relics. There’s only one or two other chapels like it in this part of the world, and it’s so unusual that I have no idea how to describe it. In fact, it will take me some time to assimilate the experience, and the way it sent tremors through my spiritual, philosophical, and historical sensibilities…

Family matters most

July 4th, 2005

The nephrologist told Bruce that his kidney has a shrinking cortex with diminished blood flow, so the call was made to discontinue the anti-rejection medication. This is heartbreaking news, and it means that Bruce faces an indefinite period of life on dialysis. This will undoubtedly slow his physical therapy, but he’s a determined fighter, as we’ve learned, and has faced down every setback so far. Dana and I are leaving now for Indianapolis to go see him with my brother Jerome, and then the three of us will head to St. Henry, Ohio to pay our respect to Mombo’s sister, our dear Aunt Alma, who passed away before her 99th birthday. I’ve been fortunate to have many outstanding role models in my life. Aunt Alma and her husband Clarence have been two of them. Gentle strength was her shining attribute, and Uncle Clarence is the finest example of sustained poise that I’ve ever witnessed.

(ps — Happy Birthday, Uncle Sam!)

Oh, the humanity

July 3rd, 2005

Keeping the tracker handy while following the live text at velonews.com was a super-cool way to experience Stage 2 of the Tour.

Astonishing! I’m living in the future!

Wait a second. This is like listening to radio. In the 1930s. Slower. With fewer details.

Hmmm…

I won’t miss this

July 2nd, 2005

A must-have “peep-hole” for the desktop.

Whatever happens—the thrill of monumental victory or the agony of shattering defeat—this shall be made manifest at a level one rarely gets to observe in the world of sport. (Secretariat in the Belmont, Ali in Zaire, Gardner topples Karelin from Olympus, Donald James Larsen on the 8th of October, Edwin Moses unapproachable, Gretzky unstoppable, Spitz in the water, Nicklaus in the zone, Arnold dominant, Jordan supreme…)

How many things are actually very, very good?

This is going to be very very good.