Who the fuck sent me the creepy email with the talking monkey?
Update 2307 hrs: Ken did.
is a blog by Brendan
Who the fuck sent me the creepy email with the talking monkey?
Update 2307 hrs: Ken did.
Stephen and Erin got married! To each other! Stephen’s pastor talked about his webcomic in his toast! Stephen wins. (And now has to hope none of his grandparents remember to search for it.)
Erin Polgreen, we failed to intersect at brunch! Email me?
“I walk with you, please,” he says, drawing even with her and smiling, as if delighted to offer her this favor. “My name is Voytek Biroshak.”
“Call me Ishmael,” she says, walking on.
“A girl’s name?” Eager and doglike beside her. Some species of weird nerd innocence that somehow she accepts.
“No. It’s Cayce.”
“Case?”
The standard criticism of William Gibson is that he’s spent twenty years writing the same story. Fair enough. But now I’m finally getting around to Pattern Recognition and remembering that I don’t care; the reason I go back to his books is their startling immunity to scansion.
I imitate the voices of a number of writers, particularly Margaret Atwood, Douglas Adams, Ellen Raskin, Rebecca Borgstrom and Neil Gaiman. I can get away with it most of the time (well, maybe not Borgstrom), but at a higher level, the whole desire to write microfiction is an attempt to shadow Gibson. I try to achieve, for a hundred words, the density he maintains for hundreds of pages.
That story Gibson keeps writing–the one about transcendence through technology–usually fails the Zafris test: its climax involves some nebulous achievement on a computer. Even if it is stereotypical, though, he always avoids making it trite. Orwell said never to use things in ways you’ve seen before. Gibson, appropriately, always finds his own uses for things.
Remember that one scene in High Fidelity where John Cusack leans over to Moby and says “I will now sell five copies of The Three EPs by The Beta Band?” And then he plays “Dry the Rain” over the PA, and he’s right. Then you go out after the movie is over and buy The Three EPs yourself, and it turns out that “Dry the Rain” is the only good song so you sell it to a guy named Leslie?
I hate that.
I will now sell five copies of Annasthesia by The Cinematic Underground, the same guys who did the score for this one movie I liked. I will do it by directing you to click the “hi” link next to the song “My Dear Self.” You can listen to the whole album that way, if you like, in which case you’ll quickly find it’s not the only good song. Just the best.
Think of somebody you knew briefly, for a week or two, maybe one night, maybe a month: a camp counselor or a host sister, a bad date or that guy who dropped out before midterms. Think of somebody you owe.
You’ve got one afternoon and one present, no larger than a garment box, to give this person. You have a table at a restaurant anywhere (except Paris) in the world.
Where do you eat lunch? What’s in the box?
Okay, Sorkin. That time you set the bar.
Now clear it.
Recent invitees to my birthday party: Kari and Grant.
I know I lied the last time I tried this, but if you are one of the first five people to email me in response to this post, I will draw you a picture, about yourself. Seriously. Also you can post this in your own journal if you want.
Update 10.05.06 1649 hrs: Time’s up! Scott, Maria, Ken, Josh, Hillary and Jon will be getting drawings. Someday. I know that’s six but the last two got theirs in at exactly the same time.