Category: People

Maria wants me to inform you that that’s the Valentine’s Day IdiotCam©, up above. Mostly we both just like it because there’s chocolate involved. Chocolate!

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Leonard just called to tell me he’s leaving Little Rock for Louisville, putting him at my apartment some time late tonight. When he leaves on the next leg of his road trip back to San Francisco, I’ll be riding with him, skipping out of work and school for a week to hit Far Points West and fly home a week from today.

As linked in the link above (metalinked?), Leonard has titled this expedition “As Long As I’m Here,” but for me personally it’s Captain Spacedork’s “Conquer the Rest of America” Adventure (I was going to make it “Actually Goes West of the Mississippi,” but then I’d just be lying). I get to meet several luminaries from the NewsBruiser User Galaxy of Stars, including Sumana the Cogent, Frances the Bold, and even the famous Atticus Matkin. I also get to do some recon work in anticipation of my return trip this summer.

I’m really looking forward to the trip, and I’m glad Leonard extended me the invitation, especially in light of the fact that he’s still going to have to do all the driving. I’m sure we’ll both be updating from the road when we can. And Mom, don’t worry, I’m packing all clean underpants.

Lady In The Next Cube must be having a rough day–she turned on the radio at 0900 and hasn’t turned it off since, which means that since the batteries are dead on my Discman, we both get to enjoy it. As I told Maria, I now understand that they really meant Soft Rock Music. All Day Long.

So yeah, basically I’ve spent the day trying to decide whether I could crash through the plate-glass window wall, and if the resulting fall would kill me. Soft Rock Hits. All Day Long. I didn’t think I was going to make it, but then–could it be? Yes!

I was saved by Wham!. Careless Whisper came on and revived my flagging spirits by reminding me of the BNL live cover to which Jon and I used to rock out in college. Glory be.

It was quickly erased by Sheryl Crow, of course, but still.

Pain is A-ALL YOU’LL FI-I-IND!

“I don’t know how many of you have had uncontrollable hiccups with three holes in your stomach, but it sucks butt. It sucks the biggest butt.”

Stephen relates the harrowing Story of Stephen’s Appendix. I called and sang to him a couple times, which I firmly believe is the only reason he survived.

I wear a winter hat in the winter–the kind of hat variously referred to as a wool hat, a skiing hat, a skull beanie or a sipple cap. You know what I mean. Mine is dark blue and says GUSTER on the front. It keeps keep me warm very nicely, but because I have ridiculously fine hair, removing it causes a static explosion–the kind of wildly divergent hairdo that made me a pariah for life in middle school and now causes my roommate no end of amusement.

The other day in Prob ‘n’ Stat, I looked around the class at perfect coifs and wondered if anyone else there wore my kind of hat. If so, how did they keep–wait! There were people wearing wool hats! They apparently just never take them off all day.

That’s brilliant!

Maria: Brendan, you really are getting good at frying sweet and sour chicken. I like eating it when you make it, and I appreciate your making dinner tonight. I just have one request.

Me: (standing in the blasted, grease-spattered wreckage of our kitchen) Yeah?

Maria: Don’t do it.

Calling All Puppies

Maria asks me to mention that her birthday is on Thursday, and ergo, someone should buy her a puppy. She wants a puppy. I request the same thing, with the addendum that you keep it at your own house, and also feed and water and take care of it and pay for its shots.

Just… just get your own puppy.