is a blog by Brendan
Look, Brenna, I’m glad we’ve given you a solid foundation in the classics. Clearly your sense of composition is shaping up nicely, and if you want to pick up some influence from Michelangelo, that’s fine.
But let’s face it, your choice of subject matter is a little trite, and your gestalt here…
Darling, it fairly smacks of kitsch.
Brendan: “I should go get you some cough syrup.”
Maria: “Hmm… I don’t know how I feel about that. The guy in the X-Files sent somebody out for cough syrup, and he died. But then again, he was British.”
Brendan: “… Your logic is flawless.”
Man, I think I’d want to see Brick even if its protagonist wasn’t named Brendan. It’s cheap smart indie high school noir with weird slang! At last, people are making movies specifically for me! Next I want Michelle Kwan buy me a pony.
Brick has a tentative release date of April 28 at the Baxter. Anybody else up for it?
One of the hilariously demented* developers who works on this floor has recently posted a sign in his cube, which reads “Abandon all hope ye who enter here.” I, being much cleverer and more handsome,** immediately thought “ah ha! This human has printed a corrupted version with the incorrect word order! The correct phrasing is ‘abandon hope all ye who enter here.'”
I was so certain of this because my version fits nicely into an iambic pentameter, while his doesn’t (you can make it fit, but that involves stretching a short vowel to a long syllable and vice versa). But it turns out neither of us was right: the Divine Comedy translation which spawned the phrase, by H.F. Cary, actually goes “All hope abandon ye who enter here,” which is much better and still in perfect iambs. Bah! Iambs are fickle! That’s why I support dactyls. Want to hear more about the Pro-Dactyl Initiative? Contact your local poet laureate today.
* Developer may be neither hilarious nor demented.
** I am very handsome and clever.
Brendan: So which is better–dragon princesses, or dinosaur princesses?
Maria: Oh, definitely dragon princesses.
Brendan: You think so? I don’t know…
Maria: Oh, come on. Dinosaurs only happened because the dragon bloodline got watered down.
Maria and I (and Michael and Danielle) are going to New York! On a trip! Ballers: You can come over on Tuesday, but we won’t be here, so you may have to play games in the hall. I am pretty sure that is illegal!
My brother Ian wants to move to Hawaii and live in a sailboat. He also enjoys poker.
Me: Bad news–all gambling is illegal in Hawaii.
Ian: Illegal gambling isn’t!
“The fingerprints of zombies are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.”
Sumana takes the old disappearing sock meme and makes it funny and touching. That’s skill, gentlemen–skill like we’ve not seen. Not since Morocco. Haskins! Initiate the Marianas Contingency! Good God, man, there’s no time to lose!
Man, today’s new virus email was pretty cool! The subject line was “You visit illegal websites,” and it was spoofed to appear like it came from “Department@fbi.gov.” Attachment: the standard ZIP file. Little do they know that all the illegal websites I visit are based outside the US, and would fall under the purview of the CIA! AH HA!
Seriously, if you get that or a similar email, don’t open the attachment, don’t open the email, don’t even preview it. Just hit the Junk button in Thunderbird and whistle a merry tune. (You are using Thunderbird, right?)
On Halloween, I had the privilege of yelling at children during Lisa’s family’s Haunted Yard. It was awesome! They’ve been doing it for years, differently every time, and they claim that this one was their last–Lisa’s parents are selling that house. Fortunately, her sister-in-law Mary Beth captured the Haunted Yard experience on digitized video!
Night Vision Cam Power Activate! (32Mb)
Watch the upper right of the screen toward the end, when they’re getting their candy–the man chasing the children until they cry is the legendary Ken Moore. It’s not often Ken has the chance to show off that particular talent. The Haunted Yard was to Ken as World War II to Churchill.